Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
