it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
