Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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