How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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