Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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