New low: just hacked my moms facebook
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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