somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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