too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
