Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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