He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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