Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
