You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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