watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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