I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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