plz talk dirty to me
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
