If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
