so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
