so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
