you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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