no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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