Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Randomize
