the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
there is puke in my bra ... again
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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