in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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