I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
