There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
