the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
