Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Yo dont text me then not text me
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
