i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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