You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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