; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
