Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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