Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize
