Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
