hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize