I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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