Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
