I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
