So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
