I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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