i think my tv is drunk
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
