i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
