I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
