bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
