im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
