Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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