You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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