No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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