and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Someone came in the potted fern
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
