At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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