Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
